By now everyone knows about John Mayer’s Playboy interview and the on going uproar over it. I didn’t want to bother to comment because John Mayer has become more tabloid fodder than the talented low key musician we used to know, and frankly I would rather pay attention to talent than the countless tabloid celebrities that have become so ubiquitous in our society where sensationalism has become the reality of choice! From the dishing about exes, to his lack of sexual desire for black women, to the “N” & “F” bomb throw down, the media frenzy is on full throttle. If you read the interview, he comes off as a troubled man child who has plenty of issues & insecurities that have been with him before reaching celebrity status, which has just been exacerbated by celebrity & the battle with an unchecked, unhealed ego juxtaposed with no filter for his brain. Unfortunately he is manchild trying find his place in the world & giving people what he thinks they want in this day & age where controversy makes Taylor Swift win a grammy as artist of the year! Let’s be honest, John Mayer has had a bigger career being a world classless douche than being a great guitar player.

The Playboy interview is just the regurgitated version of the Rolling Stone interview with a few “N” & “F” bombs & calling out black females thrown in, but this time John Mayer barked at the wrong dog & got into a fight he was not prepared for. Personally, I could careless about anything John Mayer has to say because to me he is just Paris Hilton with a penis & a guitar that he plays very well, not some intellectual with anything relevant to say about society at large except what he embodies & says about what our society puts on a pedestal. Let’s be honest most people had no interest in John Mayer until he starting kissing & telling about all his Hollywood exploits. He is an insecure pathetic man child trying to come off clever & controversial in pursuit of the attention that he pretends to shun- we know the game -he is no better than Paris Hilton, John Gossling and all the other stuck on celebrity, lacking integrity types who are always just too cool for school, when education is really what they need. I am disgusted by his lack of respect for women & the constant name dropping of his exploits while proclaiming he is such a good guy & so misunderstood, but then again ladies- we all know these types of men & we need to stop aiding & abetting their behavior, unfortunately Jennifer Aniston had to learn that one the hard way.

The basic idea of chivalry has become all too obviously lacking amongst all the man childs in our society who refuse to grow up & man up because they attain more notoriety, endorsements, press, cable reality shows, network ratings and album sales by displaying loose, not so chivalrous, man child type of behaviors. This must cease because we as a society are creating more & more of these monsters. Why blame John Mayer when this is the type of behavior that our society welcomes, condones, lures and attracts in both our young men & women. It seems in our society if you do anything that is morally questionable or detestable like abuse drugs,use inflammatory language against minority groups, have multiple affairs or put out a sex tape, you are rewarded by resurrecting a dying career by becoming relevant again. You can attain a reality show & a super bowl champion, become the loveable Barbie darling of a world that has no idea why they love you or what it is that your talent is, as you continue to get more endorsements, press coverage, endless cash flow & other rewards which most of your counterparts, whose sole focus is based on their talent, never get. This is also the same society that uses these celebrity crazed egomaniacs up & tosses them away when the next “it” comes around.

There has been more stories about John Mayer’s exploits than his musical talent lately, but please John, don’t cry me a river about how you are so persecuted when you are the one igniting the flame by sparking off at the mouth at every turn to try to boost & bring solace to your man child ego. If you don’t want to be in the press you don’t have to be, you were doing just fine before you started on your ego binge. Ask Sade & the countless other great artists how they do it, if your ego can withstand the lack of 24hr type of needy man child desired attention. You are really not that deep at all Mr. Mayer & you proved it in this interview in your pursuit of clever controversy that simply showed you off as the man child tool that you are. I really hope you will just stick to the music because at least you have a fighting chance in your talent to live a fantasy world, where you can come off as some sort of deep John Lennon /Eric Claptonlike genius, but now you have pulled your own card & “Daughters” will never be heard the same again, as we all hope you get some therapy for your issues & wait on you to change!

On John Mayer’s use of the N’ word & black women

I shake my head every single time some white person uses the word “nigger” & black people get in such an uproar over it. This is the burden & diamond encrusted cuban link cross that hip-hop & all those black people who think it’s ok for them to use the word amongst themselves have to bare. This is the Frankenstein monster you have created. If a word is derogatory & so hurtful, then it should not be used by anyone because when we make exceptions & leave it to interpretations & intentions, we leave room for discrepancy. I have heard people in Europe,Middle East, Africa & Asia using (the so shameful the rest of society has to call it) the “N” word because they think it’s hip-hop & some sort of term of endearment for black people in America & lovers of hip-hop. They have no idea about the history behind it because it is not their history nor a word that is in their language & dictionary. Hip-hop & black America has spread the use of the “N” word more globally than any white supremacist ever could, so maybe we need to check ourselves instead of John Mayer, who technically -if you really read and comprehend language- was saying that it is a derogatory term that he was trying not to be associated with, unlike all the rappers & black people who just can’t get enough of using the word. John Meyer was not as scholarly as he thought, so he ended up getting beat at his own game of trying to play clever when he is really just a narcissistic tool playing the role of the complicated rock star.

Rappers & some black folks love to to preach that they took the word “Nigger” & flipped it to “Nigga” as a term of endearment, taking the power back from its derogatory intention & definition, but the idiocy in that statement is shown every time black people get so angry over the word used in its intended dictionary context by non-blacks. I guess we didn’t redefine it nor take the power from it after all! What does Jay Z think of all this as he gave this exact explanation on the Oprah show for his affinity to using the word? I guess he should come out in defense of John Mayer because as the top dog, CEO & every corporate white person’s favorite rapper, he gave John Mayer & the legions of others globally, the pass to utilize the word at their leisure. I have heard that word Nigger/nigga used & never have I found any love in it. I have watched black mothers in Harlem calling their young children “stupid little niggas” as well as “pretty little nigga” & I have never found any love or endearment in it. I have heard countless rappers use the word more times than I can count & I have never found any love in it. We can not rewrite the dictionary & history books, but we can build on the future that so many shed their blood, sweat, tears & lives for us to have without compromising our dignity.

What are we as black people afraid of by letting that word go & letting it leave our vernacular? Many black Americans have heard this word for generations & have internalized it in so many ways. I never grew up with this word used in my African household in love or war, so my only understanding & comprehension of it is in the context by which it was created: to dehumanize a race of people of which I am part of. I am starting to believe that black America’s personalized attachment to this word is no different from an abused person who can’t let go because any kind of attention whether negative or positive is taken as love.

How do we move forward in commitment as a people in tackling major problems in equality in employment, education, healthcare, housing etc., when we can’t even commit to releasing & freeing ourselves from the word that proclaimed our inequality? I can’t even address the foolishness in John Mayer’s comments about not dating black women, since we happen to be everyone’s punching bag & allegedly least sexually desired, thanks to all the so called strong black men who are supposed to have our back & hold us up. as men of every other race & culture do for their women, yet we always fall short because of their own insecurities & inadequacies as many black men embolden the stereotypes of black women by proclaiming their own black mothers, sisters & daughters to have too much attitude, to be gold diggers, to be overachievers who demand to much of their men, to be big booty hoes, to be too strong, too educated & just too much of everything or as John Mayer says just too very very! “I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.” I have seen John Mayer on the streets of New York with conscious black men like Talib Kweli and in the company of Common, Jay Z and Kanye West, so if John Mayer is hanging out with all these black men who give him the freedom to feel as if he is relatable to black people & that black people love him so much, what exactly have they been teaching, showing & telling him about black women for him to come off with such idiotic comments in his lack of desire and appreciation for black women, when he has never had the experience? I am not denying anyone their preference because we are all entitled to our preferences. I also don’t consider him a racist for not having a desire to “date” black women, which in his book is more like to “f*ck” rather than having any type of real relationship with any woman- black , white or whatever because his comments pertaining to the white women in his life & in general was more offensive than him speaking on his lack of desire for black women. As a black woman, who has dated white men, I can tell John Mayer he can consider himself safe because most black women are not checking to be desired, loved or f*ked by him & his man child “white supremacist penis”!